ABCD how to know if your father is a Pastor

If you say your father is a Pastor in Nigeria and you don’t know this ABCD by heard, offhand, then something serious is wrong with you:

Assemblies of God Church

Bible Life Church 

Catholic Church

Deeper Life Bible Church

Evangelical Church of Christ

Fountain of Life

Global Impact Church

House on the Rock

Illumination Assembly

Jehova Witness

KICC

Latter rain assembly

Mountain of Fire

New Testament Bible Church

Overcomers Ministry

Power Line at Ijesha

Qua-Igbo Calabar 

Redeemed Christian Church of Christ

Synagogue

TREM

Universal Church of Christ

Victory Christian Center

Word of Life / Winners Chapel

XMAS Ministry in Warri

Yahwey Ministry

Zion Ministry

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HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR MOTHER IS A NIGERIAN

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1) When you say, “Mummy, I’m Sorry!” And she replies, “Sorry for yourself!”

2) When you ask her where you should drop something and she says, “Drop it on my head.”

3) When she brings food
wrapped in a nylon bag from a party.

4) When you say, ”Mummy, I have fever.” And she replies you, “Why won’t you have fever when you press phone every night”

5) When you say, “Mummy I took 2nd in my class.” and she replies, “So the person that took
first has two heads abi?”

6) When she takes the DSTV remote to work, just to punish you.

7) When you are watching television with her and then she sleeps off and still doesn’t want you to change the
channel.

8) When you tell her you are going to a friend’s place to play and she asks, ”When last did that friend come here to play with you?

9) When she asks you if the food she served you is enough, and you reply no, and she says, come and eat my own with yours.

10) When she tells you, if I hear Peem, you will hear Ween.

11) When she touches hot pot comfortably without a cloth or
paper.

12) When she tells you, ”I didn’t kill my mother, so you will not kill me”.

13) When she calls you from your room upstairs and then sends you back upstairs to bring her purse.

14) When you ask her to refund the money you borrowed her and she tells you, “All the food you have been eating in the house nko? Which money did you think was used in buying them?”

Our Mothers are wonderful.
True or false
Please don’t forget to like.

Smile and Be Happy

Dangote’s daughter cheated on me and you say I should break up? Don’t you know that Love is all about forgiveness.

Beloved sisters in the Lord, if your boyfriend can finish 5 loafs of bread and 2 fishes; you are dating 5000 people.

How can a pastor be preaching about charity and put a password on Church WIFI?

One stone is enough to break a glass, one word is enough to break a heart, one second is enough to fall in love BUT Why is one chapter not enough to pass exams?

They say “One good turn deserves another” One bad turn nko, wat happens to it?

When you see a couple in Nigeria outside @night staring at the moon, It’s either NEPA (Nigeria’s Electricity company) took the light or they are waiting for the smell of the insecticide to subside.

I just saw a Tricycle (Keke Napep) with an inscription “Trust No woman” I have a feeling that guy once had a Range Rover.

If you want to change the world, do it now that you are still single, because when you get married, you can’t even change the T.V station…

Smile and be happy.

Ishan First Response Medical, Benin City – Nigerian Terrorism Charity in the movie A MOST WANTED MAN

does anyone notice ‘Ishan First Response Medical’ supposedly in Benin City, Nigeria….as one of the charities Dr. Abdullah uses to finance terror… in the movie ‘A Most Wanted Man, 2014’?

Ofcourse its just a movie, but with Boko Haram as a household name and scores and scores of people dying every day in bomb blasts here and there, perhaps our(Nigeria) security and intelligence agencies / forces should investigate terror-financiers / supporters, basking under one identity or the other in the country, rather than just looking for Shekau.

LASTMATIC Wahala

if you live in Lagos-state, every day is a journey even if your destination is just a walking distance. If you enter public transport, you better start saying the Lords prayer from the time you enter till the time you get down; and if you are driving your own car, just pray that God should deliver you from all road-calamities, especially the ones in public-service uniforms.

It is becoming almost absolutely impossible to have a good journey from any point-A to point-B in Lagos state, especially when people like the Nigerian Police and the Lagos LASTMA are on the road "doing their job".

The reason is not so far-fetched. The LAGOS LASTMA and the Nigerian Police seemed to be possessed by the same evil spirit. Rather than do the simple job they are supposed to do, the Nigerian Police and LASTMA tag-team revolves around making life specially difficult for road-users, causing cmmotion and disturbing the general peace of the society; injuring innocent people; attracting the anger, abuse, hatred and curses of/from the general public.

Somebody please tell me why the Nigerian Police and their LASTMA colleagues need to car-chase commercial buses filled with passengers along the apapa oshodi express way, knowing fully well the implications of a possible accident? Does the Nigerian police really need to point AK47’s at bus-drivers and innocent bus-passengers just to take control of the bus? a regular quarrel among both parties which we all know about and which will be settled with five or ten-thousand naira later on? Is this really how a public-service organization should generate revenues?

What kind of offense have the bus-drivers committed such that sleeping children on the backs of their mothers have to break out in tears, for fear and panic, especially when "mommy" begins to scream for her own safety. Then comes the idea of scaring people, insulting and assaulting of passengers, even dragging some off the bus, just to take control of the bus?…….all of which would be settled after the driver pays some money as bribe?

Even if the bus-driver/s have committed an offense, does any official within the LASTMA / Nigerian Police have any mental capability to consider the safety of the general public first, at least in all their actions and in-actions as public-service personnel? Don’t the yellow-buses have plate numbers? are the origin/destination motor-parks not public places? are the motor-park chairmen/women not public figures? is it really hard to legally-arrest a bus-driver in Lagos state? why the need for another james bond movie knowing fully well that if an accident happens and blood starts flowing, it won’t be film-trick?

I actually thought it was an armed robbery. It was an eye-sore on monday morning. And from all I witnessed, there is absolutely no difference between the operation of hired-killers/armed robbers and that of the LASTMA+Police. These LASTMA+Police only succeeded in demonstrating their ineptitude, hooligan and criminal tactics as individuals and public officers. In fact, it crossed my mind that these folks, these LASTMA and Police officers could be ex-hired killers / criminals. They openly demonstrated no aota of common sense; no discipline, no descretion in their behaviour as public officers; no value or regard for the safety of life and property of the general public, they offered no apology to the people they are paid to serve.

I’m glad I arrived at work safely.